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ZO-RAMERA

ZORAMERA

 

I met Zo Ra in a hotel corridor in Las Vegas, just when I was about to make the mistake of my second marriage (this time I did out of interest) . Fortunately I ran into Zo Ra right before entering the chapel.

There she went, celebrating her fourth honeymoon. A year later I ran into her and she had already changed husband, this was the third one that I knew of. Between ourselves, all have mysteriously died from poisoning or drowning, coincidentally all during their honeymoon with their Zo Ra. They die so in love that they leave her large fortunes. All which is spent in her sick fondness for jewels and high society parties, where she usually hides behind her martini, in search of her next victim. Someone who is willing to finance her successful and extravagant jewelry trafficking business, ranging from relics belonging to the emperors, to blood diamonds and two-thousand pesos quartz stones.

For her there is nothing that a good Dry accompanied by a good line cannot fix.

ZE-BRASIER

ZE-BRASIER

I met Ze Brasier on a safari in the Congo, this was my 15’s surprise. Among the group of fifteen-year-olds, the first one who spoke to me was this crazy zebra. She had been drinking agua-ardiente with a couple of hyenas with a bad attitude and most particular giggle. “My name is Ze, do you happen to have a nail clipper? -She asked-while she tried sparkly stone-encrusted thongs.

That’s when I realized I was rooming with an African mafia gang. Ze-bra and I clicked because we were the most striped, and although the others do not know if she is black with white stripes or white with black stripes, I actually discovered she’s a donkey with dyed hair that escaped from a fair in Corozal, regardless, I still love her.

Years later I found her in the middle of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, she almost stood out as if modeling fine lingerie from a well-known brand, Victoria, but secret. Rumor is the Interpol has her linked to women and child trafficking, placing her as the main leader of the Zimbabwe network.

It can be said that she is rarer than a zebra in thongs.

LA PAVOROSA

LA PAVOROSA

 

I couldn’t stand this one when we were little, always beautiful, superb, fabulous, elegant and popular, a “good girl” she literally causes FEAR.
She always gets what she wants, she is the one that everyone wants.. he, she… everyone!

She’s addicted to pageants since she was born. She has been Queen since preschool, Queen of Antioquia, Miss Mazorquera at 16, Queen of the return at 17, Miss Cinderella at the Bucaramanga shoe fair; Shortly after she represented the Amazon and other forgotten territories in the National Kingdom of Beauty, where she did not place.

But fearfully stubborn she decided to go to try her luck in the land of her parents, Bombay. This is where she competed and won the title of Miss India. She could’ve gone further if not for the great international scandal caused after learning that she was sponsored by the Italian mafia, leaving her prestige and good name on the ground.

She believes she is unattainable, everyone wants her, but no one can stand her. Of course, it is better to have her as a friend than an enemy, perhaps because she knows everyone’s most intimate secrets

LA CANI-CHECHÉ

LA CANI-CHECHÉ

All her life she was the baddest bitch in the neighborhood, as a little girl she allowed herself to be groped while playing “American chucha” in exchange for a crayon. I saw it more than once!

Entrepreneur, empowered since she was a young pup. Our first and only lesbian experience together happened at 14, playing “truth or dare” at her cousin’s farm. A beloved dog-washer, the son of an uncle who supposedly lived in the USA and always sent her the last Barbie, the mansion, the plane and even Willy the whale along with the aquarium.

In addition, this bitch had the most fabulous Barbie collection you can imagine, she did not even play with it, nor did she let anyone borrow it. She kept them organized on shelves, most in their original box with all the toys and accessories, literally all. I kept wanting to pretend-play Mariela’s beauty salon, make braids for them, dye them with marker or balloon paper, shave them all… and well, It gave me petty anger!

After 15, she began to win a different raffle every eight days, she appeared with motorcycles, clothes, she even won a boob job raffle and if that wasn’t enough, a horse. She always walked with the winning ticket. In the neighborhood they said that one day she left the house all dressed up as her mother desperately yelled back at her asking if she had “washed IT” well enough…

That’s when my friend went from master to master. She was one of the first and most legendary webcamers in Medellín. Next time I heard about her, she was supposedly living in Miami, doing who knows what, but covered in bills.

Days ago I ran into her, we went to lunch at a local food joint. She told me that she only came to remove some plastic from her ass. But as soon as she recovers, we would go to Cholón on the yacht with one of her pig friends with whom she remains doing dirty and weird turns.
And since everything in her life has to be loud, big, and out of control, I can only imagine that trip… Dancing her way to Guaracha, having her manic episodes all while listening to her English Britney-Spearian pop.

Either way, a fun trip once in a while.